这是一篇重360公斤的post.
他和她结婚13年。他们之间的问题在13年后浮上台面。
有一天在逛街的时候，她碰见了他。身边还有一个女人。他给两个人做了简单的介绍。她也大方的没有泼妇骂街，也没有质问。回家后，她问他到底要出轨几次。他说这次他是认真的。既然东窗事发，他索性光明正大不回家。甚至在白天把这个女人大方的带回家。他没有顾及到小孩的感受，天真的以为这一切对小孩没有多大影响。殊不知亲子关系已经走样。
这样的日子过了2个月。她反复的想，深知自己进退两难。可是她再也不能给她的丈夫多一丝的包容。这样的日子对她来说是精神折磨。所以她希望长辈可以为她做主。
在家庭会议，他说出了事情的经过。他一方面不想放弃这个家，却也不想放弃这个女人。可是，如果两者只能选一样，他会选择后者。他说，即使他之前有过其他的女人，那些都是逢场作戏，他没有认真。可是这次，他是认真的。。。 因为他需要的是这样的女人。一个旺夫，在事业上可以帮得上忙的女人。
这个女人出现了以后，他突然觉得运气变好，偏财运也超旺，事业蒸蒸日上。靠这女人的关系，他在中国也分到一杯羹。所以对这个中国女人疼爱有加。他不介意花钱在这个女人身上，因为他觉得那是值得的。只要和她在一起，花掉的钱一定可以双倍赚回来。这是他的观念。两个人去中国旅游加工干的时候，算命先生告诉他这女人可以旺他30年，现在的妻子和他却是刑克。算命先生的说法更加深了他对这女人的想法，也更加认定这女人的地位。他对她说，这些东西都不是她可以给他的。所以，他要这样走下去，即使他没有把握他会不会真的因为这女人成功。她只觉得他疯了。像被人蛊惑了一样。相信一个在芽笼卖的中国女人可以旺他30年，可以帮他赚很多钱。
他说他这些年来负担太重，而她在他最辛苦的时候并没有拿钱出来帮他。家里的费用也没有帮忙负担。听他这么一说，她觉得心灰意冷。女人得工作，得照顾孩子，得看好家等丈夫回来。如果自己赚来的钱没有拿给丈夫应酬交际，或者补贴家用就是对他没有帮助。这样的说法叫女人太沉重。
没有人支持他的做法。旁听者都觉得荒谬。显然大家对中国女人没什么好感。加上她是一个背景如此复杂的女人。用脚趾头想都知道这女人要的是什么。一个正经的女人不会破坏别人的家庭；一个有本事的女人不会去芽笼卖；一个聪明的女人知道要对谁下手。是他无知吗？还是身在迷雾中什么都看不清楚？脚踏实地的过日子不行吗？说这个女人旺夫就可以不顾一切的娶她吗? 有责任感点好吗？大人的事可能签一个字就解决了，但小孩呢？影响他们的用什么来衡量？
听到这样的一个故事，我愣了一下，不知道该说些什么。所谓的爱情没有天长地久，没有随着模式的改变而升华。反之，感情随时会因为一些外来因素而生异。夫妻若没有白头偕老不算夫妻。当爱情与面包相冲时，男人都选择面包。当然，也有女人可以为面包牺牲爱情。当然，世上不乏幸福美满的家庭，白头到老的夫妻。只是，现代人对婚姻的态度太过潇洒，潇洒得说结婚就结婚，所离婚就离婚。是我保守不时髦吗？我真的没办法认同。我始终认为婚姻是责任的问题。
题外话，人说女人好骗，我说男人更好骗。用美人计就够了。古代多少君王死在美人手上？吴王夫差就是一个。阴阳相克的命运，永远逃不过那纠结。
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
It's not safe!
Many will agree that it's so much safer and comfortable no matter how late it is. I, also take this for granted.
On Saturday night, my housemate was robbed in the lift of my block. She was badly injured as she fought with the robber just because she didn't want to lose her bag. Bruises are everywhere, on her back, hand, arm, waist and foot. Reached the floor where we stay, the guy snatched her bag as she walked out from the lift. She shouted so loud and nobody was lending a hand.
Heard from the opposite auntie neighbour, Kim Tian has not been a safe place. Robbery happens quite often around this area. The robbers seem to know the place well as they know where to flee. Right next to our block is multi-storey car park where it's also connected to bus stop and another residential area. A very convenient spot.
I recalled the days where I used to work late and it's spine-chilling. I could be still walking along the street at 12 plus when I had all my personal belongings, including passport and 2 cellphones, as well as laptop in one bag, carried with no vigilance. That's because I have taken the safety in Singapore for granted. Fortunate enough, nothing bad happened in the past.
This also made me recalled my nearly robbed experience in lift when I was working at Menara Pelangi. If you're in doubt, don't step into the lift; Or, if you notice the person is suspicious only after you step into the lift, look into that person's eye and talk any rubbish to that person just to buy time. Because the moment you voice, you'll shock the person who's going to do something bad on you.
Safety is not granted. Safety is about self vigilance and self protection.
On Saturday night, my housemate was robbed in the lift of my block. She was badly injured as she fought with the robber just because she didn't want to lose her bag. Bruises are everywhere, on her back, hand, arm, waist and foot. Reached the floor where we stay, the guy snatched her bag as she walked out from the lift. She shouted so loud and nobody was lending a hand.
Heard from the opposite auntie neighbour, Kim Tian has not been a safe place. Robbery happens quite often around this area. The robbers seem to know the place well as they know where to flee. Right next to our block is multi-storey car park where it's also connected to bus stop and another residential area. A very convenient spot.
I recalled the days where I used to work late and it's spine-chilling. I could be still walking along the street at 12 plus when I had all my personal belongings, including passport and 2 cellphones, as well as laptop in one bag, carried with no vigilance. That's because I have taken the safety in Singapore for granted. Fortunate enough, nothing bad happened in the past.
This also made me recalled my nearly robbed experience in lift when I was working at Menara Pelangi. If you're in doubt, don't step into the lift; Or, if you notice the person is suspicious only after you step into the lift, look into that person's eye and talk any rubbish to that person just to buy time. Because the moment you voice, you'll shock the person who's going to do something bad on you.
Safety is not granted. Safety is about self vigilance and self protection.
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