A stressful day..

I was hit by all the stress today. I had basic theory test today. Seriously I started to study the book about 2 or 3 weeks ago, study bit by bit. It wasn't really a last min buddha leg hugging, I was still panic over this simple test. Maybe I'm phobia over exam. Or I just do not have confidence in myself in MCQ. I do have friends who sat the test twice or even thrice for pass. So I had my heart pumping very fast for almost 3 hours today. I passed.

Later in the evening was something I do not know to handle. It was a dinner with our business partner and investors. Yes, it's not a formal dinner, pretty casual and primarily for the investors to meet up with our business partner, to clear certain doubts on the project. For this kind of dinner I really don't know to behave cos I'm nobody to anyone. If I were the investors, I'd be the one to be pleased and I'd be the one who ask questions; if I were the business partner, I'd be the one who's telling about the products and plans; If I were my boss, I'd be the one who coordinate the conversation flow. I'm none of them, so what am I doing there? It's really an uncomfortable session to me. Time to polish PR skill? Or maybe I should learn from the Chinese girl, get things started with drinks. When you do not know what to say, what to do, just bring the glass, cheers and drink. Indulgence seafood by the merlion? I don't enjoy at all.

I feel that it's tough on ladies in today's world. It seems that ladies must carry themselves well in front of ppl. In the event of representing company, ladies cannot be plain. I don't mean to be a shinning star, but ladies do need something to make themselves presentable - through dressing, make up and accessories, so-called 输人不输阵by chinese saying. All these cost money. Gentlemen don't seem to need that. All they need is a branded watch and that's it. Oh, ya, and probably a golf set and a golf membership, for big business. I do not know whether this applies to your world, but to certain extent, it applies to my world. Yes, it's shallow to some of you.

All these social and presentation skills really stress me up somehow. There's a gap between me and other ppl. A big gap for me to bridge.