认知

My last interview with that company was not totally absurb. At least, it has given me some insights, that is, I must prepare myself well in all aspects for the challenges to come. It will be too late if I only start preparing when the challenges have already fallen on me. A very important self-awareness. It has also inspired me what I want to achieve in my career path. 2 weeks ago I might not be able to answer when ppl asked me: "What you want to do next?" "What kind of job you want to look for?" Now, I have a very clear mindset and I can answer you with more than 10 sentences (not just, "I'm not sure" "Well, let's see how... ") if you ask me now. That is also another very important self-awareness.

I must admit there was 1 or 2 days I was quite depressed. It was when I sent out a few job applications but I didn't get any response. Normally I'd get prompt response from these agent but this round, none. I was thinking, was it really a bad time to look for job now? Or the market has turned bad unknowingly? Will I be getting what I'm expecting or will I suffer a pay cut? Yeah... when things turned out to be undesirable or it didn't fall within one's expectation, ppl get panic. A few days later, I've sorted my mind out. At this critical moment, I reckon that I must hang on there, I must 沉得住气. I can't be lowering myself to a job which I've never considered just because of the fixed income. As time goes by, I'm sure I'll be regretful of my reckless decision later. I also notice one thing, since I started working in sg, ppl have been telling me that: "Aiyah... it's just a job... why work so hard? You don't get paid to be working so hard. Try to find some less stressful and stable job where you can go back on dot, yet the same pay." I've been instilled with this mindset, it becomes that earning money is the main objective, not the self advancement. I'd never thought so when I was in EY. Now I know why I felt so lost in the past year was actually due to this wrong recognition. A feeling of "no growth" is unbearable. This is another "product" after soul-searching for 2 days.

Today, ppl asked me if I have set out my resolutions for 2008. Frankly, I don't have the habit of setting any targets or goals for myself when a new year commences. I've never told myself things like how much savings I must have, how many books I want to read in a year, what kind of car I want to own, etc. I just live day by day and my goal is very "ad-hoc". "You never have goals in life one meh?" Yeah... I've never asked for more in life. The coming 2008 I'd want to head a change, I want to set out some resolutions and do an assessment at the end of 2008, as what others do. All the achievements must be measurable. Reason for doing so is very simple - I want to be a better woman than yesterday.