Meaningless

Have you ever had the feeling that you don't know how to move on? Feel like just sit there and do nothing, let the time passes, 毫无意义的. Feeling so low and so helpless today. Very xian and 辛苦. How and when can I get over it? Sometimes life is just too stressful, until I don't know how to move forward.

The rashes on my leg really upset me. It's only one night, I woke up in the morning I saw the rashes became "active" - they have turned into reddish colour and have spreaded to my knees and thigh. What's wrong with it? I really don't know. Is there anything wrong with my bed sheet? Or the dust in my room which I couldn't see with naked eyes? Always, I don't feel comfortable with the room. I went to see doctor again during lunch time. The doctor also can't tell whether it's caused by allergic to food or some other external factors but merely gave me some cream to apply. Then, he's also kind enough to give me half day off for rest (when I didn't ask for it). But what's the point of getting MC when I can't afford the MC? I'll still need to "produce" file in office. Damn xian.

What's depression? Have I hit depression? I wonder. I'd better 及时行乐. 可以笑就笑，可以睡就睡，可以玩就玩. I never know if I'll become listless and low the next day. I never know which manager will come and haunt me the next day also. I'd rather enjoy first before I suffer.

Damn xian... why am I kena all the shitty files since day 1? Challenge my mentality huh? Please lor... who can go far with all these setbacks?